Hold On Just a Little While Longer
by Hufflepuff44
Summary: After realizing that Connor can be afraid of heights if he throws himself off the building on his first mission, I figured that I had no choice but to write a little diddle of Connor having Acrophobia. I'm bad at writing summaries and even worse at picking out titles. Please be kind to me :)


By the time Hank and Connor arrived at the crime scene, things were already a mess. Witnesses were being difficult, refusing to let the police do their work in peace, Gavin was obviously not the happiest of campers at the moment (although who would be happy to get a call about a break-in turned homicide at 2:37 AM), and the weather was only getting worse. Connor had dispatched Hank on the case on the way over. Witness heard the suspect break in around 2:09 AM. The victim went to investigate noise. Witness trailed after the victim after hearing screams. She found the suspect, a man appearing to be in his late forties with close cropped hair who was estimated to be around 5'11, stabbing the victim with a knife believed to be taken from the set in the kitchen. Suspect became aware of the witness's presence and turned on her. She fought him off and he ran. She called the police and reported that the suspect hadn't returned from wherever he ran off to. The main objective: find the suspect and apprehend him.

"Has anyone searched the roof yet?" Hank asked no one particular as he scanned the dead body and the disheveled furniture of the apartment. Receiving no responses, he scowled. "Fuck you guys too. C'mon, Connor."

The two of them headed up two flights of steps before approaching the door to the roof of the complex. "Stay behind me, kid" Hank ordered. Connor obeyed with a silent nod as the human opened the door with his gun held out cautiously in front of him. Seeing no movement coming their way, Hank slowly stepped out of the door frame, the winter wind and rain whipping his gray locks into his face. He dropped his posture a bit. "Take a look around. Give me a holler if you find anything. You know the drill." Connor nodded before peeling off from his partner.

Scanning the roof, Connor concluded that nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No heat signatures besides Hank's, no sounds of breathing, of course, other than Hank's, nothing out of place. Everything was normal. He found himself wandering over to the ledge of the building. Might as well make sure the suspect didn't hurl himself off the roof in desperation. Connor made his way over to the frail rail the encompassed the area and peeked over the edge. His nonexistent stomach fell.

Connor only knew one thing for sure about emotions. They were confusing. There were just so many of them, most of which he didn't even know existed until he experienced them himself. Although he knew he could feel them, he didn't quite know what to call them all the time. Sure, he knew sad was the unbearable weight in the pit of his stomach and the lump in his throat. He knew anger was the fire in his biocomponents and red vision. Fear was the need to run as fast as he possibly could, to get away as quickly as he could. And he knew that happiness felt like flying and tickles in his chest that made him feel like bouncing. There were countless of times Connor had no idea how to even describe what he was feeling.

This was one of those times

His hands tightened around the metal as he sucked in a strangled breath. He hadn't realized how high up they were. Of course, looking back he should've realized that the building was quite tall with seventy floors. It only hit him when he looked over the ledge. He pressed his eyes closed, snapping them open again once he realized that he'd rather keep a visual on his position on the roof, just in case he somehow managed to slip between the poles in the railing. The wind, which hadn't been an issue until this very moment pushed slightly causing him to shift a small amount. He was too unstable standing up. Connor, still grasping the rail, sank down to the wet floor ending in an awkward crouching position.

He couldn't breathe. Of course androids didn't necessarily need to breathe, but many of the newer models were equipped with breathing simulators to help with their integration into human society. Having them hindered felt…off? Unsettling? Connor had no words to describe it. His whole body trembled, not because of the cold. Connor knew that much. He wasn't susceptible to most temperature changes. He could sense them, but shivering was not something he ever experienced. He curled further into himself, his thirium pump beating faster than it ever had before. What was happening? Was he broken? He couldn't be though. Right? It made no sense. None of this made sense.

A red alert flashed in his vision.

Stress level 78%.

He had to get away from the edge. That was the only thing he knew. Ledge=bad. Get away from the bad thing. Hesitantly he removed his left hand from the railing. Stress creeped up to 79%. Not too horrible. Connor removed his right hand. He wobbled. Stress level 87%. Bad, very bad. Railing=good. Hold onto the good. His hands flew back to the barrier, gripping them even harder than before. Connor couldn't move. His systems were giving out. His motor functions weren't responding. His eyes couldn't stop looking down. He was dizzy. Connor had only felt dizzy once and that was from losing way too much thirium. It didn't make sense. He wasn't injured. He was perfectly ok. Then why was he so dizzy?

"-nor!" he heard faintly. "You find anything?" Connor heard footsteps heading his way. "I'm starting to think this was a waste of time. How 'bout we head back inside?" The footsteps grew closer. "Connor? Shit!" He felt a body heat signature beside him. "Jesus Christ, kid! What's wrong?"

Connor opened his mouth to reply, but the only thing that came out was a garbled sob.

"You hurt?"

Connor shook his head. "Stuck."

"The fuck? What do you mean you're stuck."

"Too di-dizzy." A few strained breaths. "Can't move. V-very high."

Hank seemed understand. "Listen, son, it's ok. Just hold onto me." Connor felt his hands, one by one, clutch the human's rain soaked jacket. "Good. That's good. You gotta look at me, ok?" He felt Hank's fingers softly push his head so that he was facing the human. "Hey, buddy." Hank said with a small smile. "It's ok. We're just gonna get up now. Hold onto me. You're doing great."

Connor nodded. He couldn't help but to let his eyes stray back over the edge.

"Hey hey, eyes on me, kid."

Connor shifted his eyes back to Hank. The two of them rose slowly, all the while Connor clung to Hank like his life depended on it, because that was it felt like. Hank was his anchor, keeping him steady and secure. Keeping him safe, time after time. Hank hugged the android to his chest, taking note of the bright red LED that was flashing on his temple.

Connor's legs trembled, barely able to hold up his own weight. Hank guided Connor back to the door to the complex. "Almost inside. Hold on just a little while longer." Connor felt himself nod.

The two made it inside and Hank promptly closed the door, putting a physical barrier between Connor and the edge of the building. The android flopped to the floor and buried his face in his shaking hands. It was only then he felt the synthetic tears leaking from his eyes. He had presumed that his face was just wet due to the inclement weather, but it appeared that it wasn't the full truth.

"Connor, can you look at me?" Hank kneeled on the step below Connor. The android slowly peeled his fingers away from his eyes. "Good. Do you want to try breathing with me?" Connor nodded as Hank pressed his hand into his burly chest. The two of them sat in the stairwell taking deep breaths. They stayed there until Connor's breathing had regulated twenty minutes later.

"What happened?" Hank questioned, moving to sit next to Connor on the step.

Shrugging Connor tried his best to answer, fiddling with his fingers. Before he could speak, Hank fished around in his pocket, pulling out Connor's quarter and handing it over to him. Connor nodded in thanks, taking the coin and rolling it across his fingers, his stress levels decreasing to 42%. "I don't know. I figured that I'd look over the ledge to make sure the suspect didn't jump, but as soon as I looked over and saw how high up we were-" He cut himself off, shuttering. Hank put a soothing hand on his back and rubbed small circles into it. "I-I think I was scared?" Connor guessed. He knew what that one felt like. "It was a different kind of scared though. Much more… intense than the other kind."

"I think you just had a panic attack, son."

"A panic attack?" Connor tested the term. "What does that mean? Is that a subdivision of fear?"

"I guess you can think of it like that if it helps you. I'm no expert, but I'd say it's kinda like a lot of fear attacking you all at once."

"So its more… potent than regular fear?"

Hank sighed, hugging Connor closer to his side. "Sure, Connor. If that's how you want to think of it." He squeezed Connor's arm before rising to his feet. "How 'bout we get outta this hellhole? Go back home-" Hank glanced at his crappy watch which read 2:59 " and watch a bit of T.V. before heading to bed?"

Connor nodded rising to his feet, exhaustion pulling him down. Hank's arm found Connor's shoulders and snaked around them, guiding him down the stairwell and towards the elevator.

"Can I pet Sumo?"

"Knock yourself out."

"I like dogs."

"I know."

A few beats of silence. "Thanks Hank."

"Don't mention it, son."


End file.
